In The Beginning

Once upon a time I was a happy Estee Lauder fan. By once upon a time I mean twelve years. I was so loyal to Estee Lauder that the girls at the Estee Lauder counter knew me by the name, had my records on their file, and if approched by someone that wanted to give me cosmetics as a gift, they knew exactly what would make me happy.

The love story began when I, having had a bad day, read about their new anti-age launch. So I approached them for some comfort shopping, and to my surprise the Estee Lauder assitant looked at me in the eye, and told me I didn't need it.

Well, that was not only flattering, it was also honest beyond my wildest expectations. My previous experiences had always been that at this level the shop assistants would try and push whatever, whenever, so it was a breath of fresh air. Not only that, their products did wonders to my ever-so-problematic skin, and I never thought I would stop buying from them.

I am also incredibly vain. The first time my partner Jim and I went away for a weekend, he looked at the small bottles I have spread all over the bathroom, and asked what they were. When I told him my daily regime constituted of day serum (two types), day moisturizer with SPF, day eye gel, then night serum, night moisturizer and neight eye cream, not to mention the cleanser and toner he tried to look enthusiastic, but only managed to mutter the word 'complicated' before walking away and never mentioning it again. I also own a shoe-size box of eye make up and another box of lip make up.

But then I was given two guinea pigs for my birthday. And then a dog. And grumpy and mad as they are, multiplying the number of white hairs on my head by a hundred in a short space of time, I am very fond of them.

It also happened that I came across an article on the web, stating companies such as Avon and - shock and horror - Estee Lauder had resumed animal testing, after having pioneered the ban years ago.

I was gutted. Not that the issue had even been on my radar before, but to think that they had taken a step back on the ethics front in the name of profit was a massive disappointment.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a Greenpeace activist, I don't hug trees. Although I can eat vegetarian food most of the time, I do love a bacon sandwich from time to time, and I couldn't live in the knowledge I couldn't eat roast chicken ever again. But somehow, the idea of inflicting suffering and pain unnecessarily didn't feel like the right thing to do. So I did the unthinkable - I quit Estee Lauder. And Clinique, and Lancome, and all other brands that were still conducting aninal testing at the time.

It wasn't easy. Much as I am realistic, I have to confess to sending them an email, asking them to confirm - as if I didn't know already - that they did test on animals. Perhaps I was hoping for a reasonable explanation that would justify the act. And I did get a reply: "Our longstanding commitment to end animal testing has not changed: we do not test our products or ingredients on animals, nor do we ask others to test on our behalf, except where required by law.

We are proud of our role in the great progress that has been made in eliminating animal testing around the world. Given, however, that there are still countries that require some animal testing, we have an opportunity to encourage global acceptance of scientifically validated non-animal testing methods. We are increasing our efforts and investments to make this goal a reality."

<Deep intake of breath>

Now, I'd like to think I am a relatively reasonable person. I would respect Estee Lauder's decision to resume testing in China as it's a huge and growing market, with huge potential for profits. But to imply that by complying with their legal requirements they might be able to promote animal testing ban was insulting to say the least. I ended up sending them a reply, calling them hypocritical. Oh well, I was hormonal at the time.

And so began my quest to find an ethical substitute to my perfectly-matched-to-my-skin mosturizer. And serum. And eye cream. And lip gloss. And... <sighs>

It hasn't been easy. I've tried quite a few products from all price ranges and brands. Some have caused allergic reactions, others have made my skin so dry I looked ten years older. It doesn't help (at all!) that I'm getting older, and sagging is starting to kick in.

I still haven't found the perfect product, and I suspect there may be more than one brand to cater for my ever changing needs. But I thought I'd share my "quest for ethical beauty" because... well, because Jim is not interested in it at all, so I need someone to "talk to". I'd also like to hear from other people's experiences, and if my musings help anyone in the world a tiny little bit, then that would make me so so happy.

So here's to pages and pages of breakouts, white heads, dry patches and tightness, and heaven knows what else until the day I am happy with what I'm smearing my face with once again.

Thank you for reading.